Uncle Already

It's wierd how the kids you work with start to fill the role that used to be occupied by the friends you saw at school every day. Weird, but appreciated. Anyways, new words have started to enter my vocabulary on account of all the daily friendly banter. Like jerk. Yeah I know, that's not a new word. I just wasn't so used to saying it before. Like for example... "Hey dude, you want some of my bacon?" "Yeah sure." "Ha. Too bad, I ate it." "Jerk." Like this, see? So I'm home for the weekend, and am crestfallen to find that the only milk we have in the fridge is a little Dannon chug. (I'm the notorious member of the household who grew up drinking 2.5 gallons a week by myself.) This is quickly used up in one bowl of cocoa puffs. And my mom laughs and says something like, "you know where the store is." So I retort, in equal jokingness, with my new vocab word. Oops. Mom does not think the J word is funny. In 3.2 seconds, dad has flown into the kitchen and gets in my face like the big ladies on Jerry Springer. There is something so intrinsically annoying about a person following you around a room in as close proximity to your face as possible, hollaring and poking fingers. Bla bla this and bla bla that. So I hit a nerve. So I'm sorry. Nobody is listening. I start swatting and making circles around the island like I'm trying to get away from a fly. Who invented the in-your-face anyways? Such a successful invention with such pointless goals.